Have you ever had someone try to control you, talk you down like you don't even matter, or always have a problem with every way you do something? It doesn't have to be ex's, or parents, it can literally be anyone. Friends and Coworkers too. They just don't feel good to communicate with, surround yourself with or deal with period.
Here's what to look for:
Nice in public: Dick in private
Constant need for validation
Likes to take nice long walks on POWER TRIPS
Perfectionist- everything needs to be just perfect for them, they usually don't care what it takes, because THEY aren't usually the one doing the work.
Controls every situation, gets mad when they can't. Then, usually deflects their loss of control on someone else and creates it as their fault or problem.
Will do anything to make others look bad, as long as they are on top.
Always needs attention, or "help"
No boundaries, ever. They can't see where you end and they start. Your time is invalid, but theirs is superior. If they can't get someone to do something they want them to do, they will reject, demean, fight, or pout.
Absolutely no empathy for other people. Not their kids, not their "best pals," not their significant others. They are unable to feel EMPATHY AT ANY LEVEL for anyone but themselves.
They will gravitate to people who seem strong, have good work ethic and are beautiful. Because they think that reflects on themselves, and they like a good challenge. Nothing is more satisfying for them than to break down the queen. Sick fucks.
Here's what to do:
Make sure you're not a narcissist and make sure you aren't attracting them. I don't give a shit what you've been brought up with, what has happened to you and now you are in "fight and flight mode." None of that stuff matters. You need to take accountability for #1.
Here are some PURPOSE promises that ensure a strong commitment to yourself and everyone you surround yourself with.
NEVER BE AFRAID TO CUT OUT TOXICITY. Make a promise to yourself that shitty people do not belong in your life. For many reasons: because it feels better mainly, but in addition to just the feelings, when you are surrounded by narcs, life is harder. You feel defeated all the time and start missing the point. It's very easy to get brainwashed by these people, because they will literally do anything to break others down to get what they want.
NEVER ASK SOMEONE TO DO SOMETHING YOU WOULDNT BE WILLING TO DO YOURSELF. And don't do for people what seems irrational. Set some MFing boundaries and keep them there.
NEVER SELL YOURSELF OR THOUGHTS SHORT. Trust your intuition. They will try to tell you you're crazy, you'll never do it, you're not good enough. Do it. Forget them. Bring that huge ribbon cutting scissors and cut ties with that garbage.
LIVE ON FACTS AND REALITY vs. EGO AND JUDGEMENT. KILL YOUR EGO. Ego sucks. Judgement sucks. Look at the facts and the reality of each situation and move accordingly. Don't get stuck on opinions. If you know you are sticking to facts and reality, it's not only an energy saver, but you also don't have to sift through the bullshit when there's an issue. Point blank.
MAINTAIN A CONNECTION WITH THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE. You know who they are. If you are using your quality time to spend on people who deserve it, chances are, they will also be doing the same and not hanging out with hidden demons. Don't go to the bar looking for friends. Make sure they have a credible source before allowing into your life. And don't drop any of your PURPOSE promises for them. Thats a huge red flag. If you can't be YOU, then GTFO.
BELIEVE MOST PEOPLE ARE GOOD, but listen to someone when they tell you who they are.
ALWAYS BE OPEN TO SPIRITUAL GROWTH. Do energy healing dudes. Clean out that unprocessed bologna and make space for growth and goodness.